Last memorial of the agent from the K. of Poland, to the Salamanca Dr

The laft MEMORIAL of the Agent from the
K. of to the Salamanca DR
My Learned Chaplain y
Orefeeing many Hours are not allotted me to remain in my Earthly Tabernacle
I judged it requifite to impart my Sentiments to Thee before my Exit.
Ah Friend! If Thy Self, thy Father, and old Ezrael Tonge, &c. in 1678. (inftead
ofhoneft K.K.fhz.d made a timely application toMe,after you bugger’d out your ill
favour’d and imperfect Embryo at Fox-hall and'm Fnlwoods Rents, I could have lickt
the uncouth Cub into a much more gainly and Gentile Form, that would have made
the Feopk toon-blind, and transform’d them into fuch confounded Afles, that
they might have been Bridled, Saddled, and Rid as your good pleafure ftiould have
deem’d convenient 5 yea, and have ftriven with ail their Might and Main to have
loft their Liberty, Property and Religion, and like egregious Sots and Coxcombs
Wilfully to thruft their Necks into a certain Noole of Eternal Slavery and Confufion,
ft this noton ms Tragi comedy had been firft reviled and eorre&ed by my expe¬
rienc’d Hand, I (hould have imhehftied it with moft curious Touches, and England
at this day had ieen many fair Commijfions Sealed and Signed 'Johannes Emlw
d'Qliva} But Ye, like a Triumvirate of filly TnbSlers, had not the Brains to confi-
der, that One Commijfion would have been a Scene fuperiour to any in your Earfey
and have far out-done thole Z£ff£rj,which(unknown to You)gave you Reputation.
If my Hand had been earlier at the Oar, Dear T^oUor, thy Forty Thonfand TiE
grims and their Blad^Bills had not now been invifible, nor thy numberlefs Drury’-
Lane Daggers been believ d Non*Entities, nor thy Do&orkood at Salamanca a very
Ridicule, nor the Illuftrious Don John of Juftria a Tall Fair Man } Neither bad
thy worthy Father at this day fold at the Half Moon in Bloomsbury, (where
he died,) nor thylittle Brother boyi’d Rumps of Mutton in Red crofs-ftreet, nor Sea
Bully Sam emer’d the Appartmencs of the Scolds'm Long-ditch*
If Ye had attended Me when Ye ought, no Mortal durft now have averred,
that there never was fuch a Man as.Father Strange the Jefnit, who lb candedly and
frankly unbolbm’d bimfelf, and {as Gabriel to Mahomet*) reveal’d to Thee the
mighty Myfteries of thy Alcoran, which T Sm. of the Temple digefted into things
call’d Depofitions, or rather Stories of Cocky and Bulls, and Parfon Jones prefix’d
the Epijile, and call’d it by the mme of Narrative: This was the Sire to numerous
hopeful Babes of the fame Name and Nature, and Grand-fire to the admired Nar*
rantine of thy Reaowned Brother the Ingenious Eufiace Comins 5 So, as thy prudent
Predeceflor Mahomet, the Impoftqr, had a juggling and a milchievous Menhy,
Thou hadft a difeontented Law-man, and a difczxded Naval Chaplain thy Co-adju-
tors; yet [the veryeft Logger-head in the Three Nations will never account Thee
a Eropket, or a Saviour worth a Farthing.
I was conftrain’d to flie my Countrey in order to prelerve my Neck, and to,take
Sandtuary in that very Carthage, I formerly /£?^ Meafures to have deftroy’d. Oh!
let my Speech to the l ords and Commons be blotted out of the Records of Time!
Oh! may my Delendu ei?Carthago, '{ Amflerdam mull be Damndf\ never be re-
menabred by Butter-boxes of this or the next Age! Oh! may myf Country-men never
revert upon Me Delenda eji Septonia, Sr——y muft be lent to the Devil!
My not being loon enough acquainted?with thy Intrigue, is the certain Iburce
of all our miferies and misfortunes^ That breke and diflocated all Meafures. The
World remembers well, after I becamethy Patron and Pilot, how finoorhly we all
firam*d the Publick^ how quickly thou attainedft 12 l. n week, to feed a numerous
gang of Rebels and Sedition*mojjgers, with a Sett of antiquated Ruffians, and Beard-
\efsBnggeroom to attend thy Tail} Any Mortal that would not believe thy
and make thy Tlot his Creed, was forthwith put into it, or into as bad a condition 3
No Man was fecure in his Bed3 no Man’s Life was his ownj ’twas Peace, but a Peace