Religion & morality > Cloud of witnesses, for the royal prerogatives of Jesus Christ, or, The last speeches and testimonies of those who suffered for the truth in Scotland, in the years 1681-1688, with an appendix, containing the Queensferry paper, Torwood excommunications, &c

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LAST SPEECH AND TESTIMONY OF
that I thought, though there were neither hell nor heaven,
religion was a reward to itself. And I was so taken up with
Christ’s gracious condescensions, that his name was most
pleasing ; jet durst I not draw a conclusion of an assurance
and perseverance; yea, I was put to question the work itself,
upon account of the quality of my repentance : but meeting
with Guthrie’s Trial of a Saving Interest in Christ, I found
sensibly that swallowed up a law-work in love. I found
this, that there is not a more excellent piece of the armour
of God, than the helmet of salvation, and which Satan is
most busy with a Christian to keep off. I found likewise,
as knowledge and grace grew, that presumption grew ; that
is, that with what I had gotten, I could walk alone : but that
truth, “ without me ye can do nothing,” was known to my
sad cost. But after all this sweet time, yea, I may say, most
sweet time, falling more and more engaged in worldly affairs,
I found an impossibility to me to be instant in business, and
fervent in spirit; so that some throngs in these, abated that
life which 1 had ; and accordingly as love grew to outward
things, the power and life I had attained decreased ; yet so
as all alongst, I find that God has still been holding me by
the hand: and I desire, with submission to other men’s
judgments, to say, I think a person falling in love with god¬
liness, covenanting with God, to have a respect to all his
statutes without exception, counting the cost, and seeing
the cost of themselves imprestable, and believing that Christ,
who was the author, will be the finisher of such a work ; I
say, I cannot think that ever God will part with such, who
do so covenant with him. Yea, it has been a comfort to
me, when I could see no more of my interest in him, but
that, I said, “ thou art my God.” And as I cannot conceal
the loving-kindness of God, so upon the other hand, as the
words of a dying man, I look upon myself as the most
worthless object that ever free love has paged and waited
upon through the world, compassed about with so many
sins, and clothed with such a perverse nature : but he with
whom I made the bargain makes crooked things straight,
and rugged places plain.
Next, I advise all sufferers to beware of proposing to
themselves, to do this and the other thing, for safety of life,
which is sinful; for if such a false mind be in folk, “ God
will lead them forth with the workers of iniquityand they