Temperance > Autobiography and personal recollections of John B. Gough

AUTOBIOGRAPHY
JOHN B. GOUGH.
■with a backbone like a case-knife. But I endured my
martyrdom with a calm smile of exultation. Then Fair
Day came every year on the 23d of July; and for that all
our spare farthings were carefully hoarded, until I re¬
member one fine day we counted eightpence between us—
my sister and I.
These fairs are of very ancient date; sometimes called
feasts, or shows, held at certain seasons of the year. In
ancient times fairs may have had their uses; but they
have degenerated sadly. How can I describe a village
fair?—the main street lined with booths, filled with toys,
ribbons, crockery, and gilded gingerbread. Then, on the
village green—(and this green was right before our house)
—are larger booths, with flaring painted canvas, an¬
nouncing to the gaping crowd that a mermaid and a giant
are to be seen within. On another we read that the pig¬
faced lady and the spotted boy have just arrived from
Bottle-Nose Bay in the West Indies. Then the calf with
two heads; and the “ambiguous” cow, that can’t live on
the land and dies in the water,—all to be seen for the
small charge of one penny! “Here is a Panny-rammer
of the procession of the Monarch of Injy on his hele-
phautthere are cheap Jacks bawling their wares.
“Here’s such a saw as you never saw saw, in all the days
you ever saw; there’s a whip as is a whip: there never
was but two of ’em made, and the man died, and took the
patent with him. Vy, this whip will make my ’orse go;
—and you know vot he is.” All sorts of shows, swings,
merry-go-rounds, skittles, greasy-pole climbing, running
J in sacks, donkey races,—the slowest donkey to win, and
-no man allowed to ride his own donkey. Conjurors’
booths. Continued cries of “Yalk up! valk up!—Just
a-going to begin.” Pantomimes—Clowns, Harlequins,
Pantaloons, and Columbines. Music resounds on every