Scotland/Scots > Wilson's tales of the Borders and of Scotland > Volume 3

126
TALES OF THE BORDERS.
preaching to a very delightful crisis; and we, as you may
believe, saw it with no small satisfaction. We indulged in
the most delicious dreams; indeed, our whole life was now
one continued reverie of the most soothing and balmy kind.
From this dreamy state, however, we were very soon awak¬
ened by the following paragraph in a newspaper, which
my father accidentally stumbled on, one morning as we were
at breakfast. It was headed “ Dreadful Shipwreck,” and
went on thus:—“ It is with feelings of the most sincere
regret we inform our readers, that the Isabella, from
Jamaica to London, has foundered at sea, and every one
on board perished, together with the whole of a most valu¬
able cargo. Amongst the unfortunate passengers in thu
ill-fated vessel was a Mr. Jeremiah Hairsplitter, a well-
known Jamaica planter, who was on his return, for good
and all, to his native land. The whole of this gentleman’s
wealth, which was enormous, will now go, it is said (he hav¬
ing died intestate), to a poor man in this neighbourhood
[Liverpool], who is nearest of kin.”
Well, gentlemen (continued the little hump-backed man
in the bright yellow waistcoat), here was a pretty finish to
all our bright anticipations! For some time, indeed, we
entertained hopes that the reports, especially the last,
might be false ; but, alas! they turned out too true. True,
true were they, to the letter.. My father, unwilling to
believe that all was lost, called upon a lawyer in the town
where we resided, who had a good deal to do with our late
relative’s affairs; and, after mentioning to him the footing
we were on with the deceased, and the expectations he had
led us to indulge in, inquired if nothing would arise to us
from Mr. Hairsplitter’s effects.
“ Not a rap!” was the laconic and dignified reply—“ not
a cross, not a cowrie! You haven’t a shadow of claim to
anything. All that Mr. Hairsplitter may have said goes for
nothing, as it is not down in black and white, in legal phrase.”