Life and diary of Lieut. Col. J. Blackader

496 LIFE OF COL. BLACK.ADER. CHAP. XX.
public company, he could steal a moment to offer up
a pious thought, and rally his scattered meditations.
Family devotion was a part of religion which he cul-
tivated at all times, and under all circumstances in his
own house. He acted at once as the priest and the
father of his family. Whether alone or in company,
(and he was seldom without visitors,) this duty was
never neglected. When he officiated himself, he
usually read a sermon ; if a clergyman happened to
be present, he was requested to offer prayers, which
were sometimes preceded by an extempore lecture
on some passage of Scripture.
February 18. This day I was betrayed into a fit
of passion, for which I do not justify myself, though
I had the right on my side. It was at my servants,
who were colluding together with lies to deceive me,
which I discovered, and could not bear, but gave them
a sharp rebuke as they deserved. O Lord, pardon
wherein I exceeded, for the wrath of man worketh
not the righteousness of God. There is too much
self even in our anger, and our zeal against sin. We
know not what spirit we are of; there is much fuel
within, which would soon break out if left to our-
selves. Every one of us carries about with him, as it
were, a barrel of gun-powder, and a lighted match to
kindle it.
March 15. Busy all the forenoon, and troubled
about rectifying disorders and abuses in the garrison,
whereby it is likely I will get the character of being
severe. But I see men will not do their duty with-
out discipline and authority. Lord, do thou direct
me to do my duty, and carry aright, avoiding all
extremes.