Life and diary of Lieut. Col. J. Blackader

CHAP. X. CAMPAIGN THIRD. 227
From this place is dated a letter to his wife, con-
taining some reflections on his present situation, which
we shall insert.
Wysbaden, September 9.
I have at last received a letter from you, the one
you wrote to the care of Major Lawson at Frankfort.
I suppose all you wrote to me at Norlingen have been
missent. This is the only one of yours that has come
to my hand since the battle. I desire in all things to
fall in with the designs of Providence, and am grieved
at heart to think I have so much love to the world,
and so little to God, who, though he had never done
any thing for me before, yet the experience of what
he has done for me this campaign, — the wonderful
deliverances, preservations, signal mercies, and loving
kindnesses he has heaped upon me, might shame me
out of all other love, and make me cry out, He and
He only is altogether lovely. I use to wish for solitude
and retirement, yet I must tell you, that though I
have been in good company since I came from Nor-
lingen, and had a pleasant voyage, and abundance of
retirement and quietness, yet such has been my in-
ward feeling, my want of peace and serenity of sOul,
that I have often wished to be in the midst of the
army again, and in the brunt of the hottest battle.
It has been ill with me these twenty days by-gone ;
but it is not always so. I have consolation when I
get access to the throne of grace with my petitions,
and am enabled to pour out my soul there. I write
the more plainly to you: knowing that I open my
case to a tendered-heart sympathiser, who has a fel-
low feeling for my infirmities, and will remember me
at the throne of our compassionate High Priest, who
has bowels of mercy for tempted souls.