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Broadside regarding a second attack of the wild beasts

Transcription

OLD TOWN ZOOLOGICAL

SECOND ATTACK!

OF THE

Wild Beasts upon their Keeper

IN

THE ROYAL CIVIC ARENA,
ROYAL EXCHANGE, EDINBURGH :

showing how the Animals Fought and how their Keeper Defended

himself.

The House being crowded in every part to excess,   hundreds, eager to gain
admission, were reluctantly obliged to go away.

THE usual Overture was played by the Band in attendance; con-
cluding very appropriately, with the New Song of

Come you here the Fecht to see,                                       
Or hear the fun wi' me, man !         
Or saw you ever sich a den,            
As our Menagerie, man !         

THE Curtain then rose, displaying all the wild animals in diffe-
rent attitudes. The Grampus came forward, and announced that
he had been to the " first Weird" and engaged a Stut?the Hippo-
potatoe-tamus put them in mind that he was a Hooded Stut, and
would prove a very tractable and rare animal in the collection. The
Keeper then got him duly in-stalled; but contrary to all expectations,
he kicked and gored him the moment he was introduced. The
small ape,Genus Legal, who had been trained to perform at the
Bar of the Parliament Coffee-house, came forward to the front of
the stage. He seemed very sick, and cried for a pail of water,
which was instantly brought in. He said that he had been de-
puted by the rest of the animals to lead the attack, and to seize
upon, and gag the Keeper, a duty he was very unwilling to per-
form, but which he was obliged to attempt, in order to prevent
himself being torn to pieces by the more ravenous animals, (great
growling in the Menagerie). He tugged and drew, and like most
animals of his species, tried to make the worse appear the better
reason. But his logic seemed too big for his understanding, and
he was observed to take several awkward turns to recover his wits,
and make himself intelligible,?each attempt, however, only
served to make his case the more obscure. At last, he sat down
amidst the hisses of the audience, mingled with the growls of the
animals. Then the poor old chained rickety Fox, with a lean and
hungry look, presented himself, and called forth the com-
miseration of all present, from his ill-conditioned appearance and
inability,?not his unwillingness to shew his teeth and fight, for
he seemed as fierce and ravenous as ever.?But Genus Medic?,
always ready with his usual talent, came to the rescue, and
said, that the beasts who had already shown themselves, talked
of spliting hares, and putting their Keeper through the eye of a
needle, but that he was prepared to dissect the whole Mena-
gerie of wild animals, and to show by their different formations,
that it was their natural ravenous propensities and revengeful
dispositions, and not as they said, the honour of the Menagerie, that
had called forth this attack, and that they might rest assured that
the public would not suffer them to go howling after their Keeper
wherever he went, (great cheers by the audience), which was check-
ed by the Keeper, who said this noise only made the Animals the
more ferocious. Several wild animals, roused by the noise, grunted
and growled, and the Wright Hyena made an attempt to devour
a Miller who was near him, but he was secured, and chained up.
The Keeper remarked, that he had observed the poor Ourang-
Outang to be in labour for about a week- past, and fully expected
a whiskered production like itself; but lo, and behold ! he had to
tell the audience, that the only production of this week's labours
was a very small mouse, which the Fox and Ourang-Outang were
nursing between them?a natural curiosity, that must prove a
great attraction to the Menagerie. The attention of the audience
was then directed to a small whelp, the Son of Gib, who had been
reared in the Riccarton Kennel. It was expected to fight by the
side of the Keeper, but its toe had been severely tread on by the
Boot of the great Gulliver, and it could not show battle. The
Keeper said that the animals must now see that all their attempts
to injure him must recoil on their own heads, and make them
to be more securely caged up.

The Keeper then apologized for the crowded state of theTheatre,
which, he had no doubt, was caused by this extraordinary attack ;
but the animals had all promised to confine themselves, in future,
to their proper dens, and be peaceable. He therefore closed the
exhibition for the day, and said that the animals might go and
scratch themselves, which so delighted the Hippo-potatoe-tamus,
that he actually held out a foot to be shaken by the Keeper, in
token of future obedience, and that dignified functionary actually
condescended to handle him, amidst shouts of laughter from the
whole house. After which, the curtain dropt.

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Probable period of publication: 1839-1857   shelfmark: ABS.10.203.01(149)
Broadside regarding a second attack of the wild beasts
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