THE STORM ON THE PAISLEY CANAL
PRICE ONE PENNY.
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Pray look on this victim of Cupid,
Tae.laiy tale qf woe give an ear,
As sure as death I'm knocked quite stupid,
I'll gang wrang in the head tae, I fear,
An' it's a' through a lass that I gaed wi',
Ay, Mary M'Phail was her name;
My affections she has cruelly played wi'
And left me like a wandered wean.
Spoken__Aye, mony a time I hae laughed
committin' suicide through love but there's nae-
body kens the impression it leaves when your
lass laves you. I ken mony a time I hae fun'
mysol'daunering owre by Jamaica Brig wi' the
second consideration when I thoucht'on the
trouble it would gie ither fouk, fairly spile my
claes, an' May be catch cauld, I thoucht it would
be as us weel tae never mind. Aye, Mary M'Phail
hasna failed tae mak' me fail plenty.
I wish that I never had seen her,
She has cruelly caused my doonfa'
She's awa' wi' the mate o' a steamer
That sailed on the Paisley Canal
Ye mann ken that her parents resided
In that famous place Paisley toon,
Tae first-fit them we baith had decided
She said wi' the train she was tired,
And would like tae gang doon by the sea,
So a berth for us baith I then hired
In the Crossmyloof steamshib "Bumbee."
Spoken.-Ay, freens, I spared nae expense
tae mak' her comfortable, I took a cabin pas-
sage in that late and commodious steamship
O' twa hunder punds burthen, the "Bumbee,'t
o' Crossmyloof. And before starting that nich
I bocht a bottle o' the hard stuff, nane o' the
"Weekly Mail" kind, mind ye, but the rale Glen-
tak'it, some curran' scones, some potted head,
some wulks, and several ither luxuries. I took
ane last look o' the shore o' Glesca, a carter
gied us a shove aft', and awa' we started, but I
micht hae kent there wis something gaen tae
tak place for before we left the Quay there
wis a punt lying opposite tae us wi' a lot o'
man-o-war sailors on board, and they aye kept
winking at Mary, and she seemed It 'ke it.
When passing the Shaws a great storm
Wi terrible f ury cam on
I got my Sunday troosers r torn,
And Mary she lost her chignon.
I thocht I wad faint wi alarm,
When, A hauns on deck, the Captain roared,
And the crew was a chap wi' yae arm,
He says, Throw "the main deck overboard.
We hadno gaen far up the channel
When we felt such a thunderin shock,
The Captain gaed aff wi a candle.
And found out we had struck on a rock.
I lost Mary amidst a,' the commotion.
On a flour barrel I sprang across,
And by chance was rescuedf rom the ocean,
By a passing punt loaded with dross.
Spoken. ?There was a nice predicament tae
be in. Talk aboot first-fittinn, I wis bobbin
about for three or four hours on the briny ocean
whustlin wi my fingers in my Mooth as a signal
o' distress, but atlast one o' Drummonds Gov-
ernment screws cam in sicht, but they either
took me for a buoy, or else the spirit o tha storm
and were frichted to tak me on board, but at
last they got convinced I was human being,
so they hove- to. and before you could count
three I was on board, and related my sad tale
tae the Captain. But I think a the Captains
Ere tarred wi then same stick, for he jist gies
his troosers a hitch up an he says. Avast,
you landlubber, the girl will be right enough.
She micht be richt enough for them she was
wi but no for me; but however I arrived back
frae whaur I started, a sadder but a wiser man
I met a the ither fouk gaun hame quite hapyy
singing the Days o Auld Lang Syne, and
Let us be happy together, but I had tae gang
hame singing intae mysel.
I wish that I never had seen her, etc.
I had jist been twa days hame tae a letter
Cam frae Mary that did mak me stare.
She said I should try and forget her
For she couldna see me ony mair
She got spliced the day after the storm
Tae the captali for saving her life,
So noo I'm left quite forlorn?
Daunerin aboot lookin oot for a wife.
Spoken.?Aye. the day I got that letter I
kent at ance it was frae Mary, I could aye tell
her han write, yo wad think it was wrote wi
the end o a potstick. It commenced wi, Dear
Bauldie (aye she was dear enough tae me ony
way, for the excursion cost me ane and fivepence
my hail years gatherin, no speakin o three
penc hapenny I spent wi her up at the shows
during the fair time), she says Dear Bauldie,
I hope youll no takit amiss o me marryin the-
Captain o the Bumbee, for what is to be
will be. During the tempest me an the mate
were picked up by a large troopship [ ]
horse-power and carried back tae the [ ]
port o Strabungo. When without ony
hesitation, he asked me if l' would be his
partner for life, so I just said aye because him
saving my life I thouoht he had the richt tae
get me; so when the clergyman asked me if I
would tak him for better or worse, I said I
would tak him for the better the warst o't
bein disappointin you, but it canna be helped
noo. Im appointed stewardess on board ane
o the canal liners, so as there is to be a soiree
on board the nicht, an I hae tae attend a a party
o coalheavers, for the present I'll bid you an
everlasting fareweel, At tho fit o the letter
there was a P.S. (I suppose that meant Puir
Sowl), it said. If you come tae Strabungo
on Monday next I could get ye a job as pilot
tae pull up ane o the canal ironclads frae
Paisley every morning. But I would prefer
bein at my ain trade weavin at hame, ant
I wish that I never had seen her, etc'
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Probable period of publication:
1880-1900 shelfmark: L.C.Fol.70(80)
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