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Broadside entitled 'Humours of the Age'
Humours of the Age!
Chuse where and what you will, here are some things
I never think of a wife until I am hungry, and then I look for
I love whisky and strong beer twice in the year, that is summer
I hate Lawyers and Liars, because they breed wrangling and
I would be a soldier, was there all plundering and no fighting.
I love a clergyman that practises what he preaches, for other-
If ever I marry I will have the ugliest woman I can find, then I
Shew me a poet, a painter, and a quaker, and I will shew you
Of all men in the world blind men walk most upright, so they
Of all people I pity lewd women, for they hazard both soul and
Sailors are the bravest and the merriest fellows in the world, for
The astrologer is a wise man, he can foretell future events, but
Tea and tobacco are pernicious weeds, and grand thieves, they de-
There are five great rarities hard to find, a black swan, a phoenix,
If extortioners cannot enter the kingdom of heaven, where must
Soldiers and butchers are very near relations; for they both live
I never see a tailor but he puts me in mind of a cabbage, or a
Good old women, and good small beer, are hard to be found,
What is the difference between ale-dealers and linen-drapers ?
Number me the sands on the sea shore, and the stars in the sky,
To portion daughters, and to build ships, are chargeable things,
Had I three sons, if one of them was a dunce, two should prac-
There are five things wonderfully swift ? Fame, which, like a
Some say that Britain is the garden of the world, but, as Buona-
But there is no general rule without exception, what I speak is
And thus I have finished what I first proposed,
And if I have more or less of truth disclosed
Than what you like, excuse me for this time,
As need makes old wives trot, and poets rhyme;
Therefore extend your halfpence, if you please,
And I'll pray for you all my remaining days.
EDINBURGH:?Reprinted by Menzies, Lawnmarket.
Probable date of publication:
1835 shelfmark: F.3.a.13(101)